If You Want to Be Luckier in Life, Start Increasing Your Surface Area

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The other day, somewhere between mindless Instagram scrolling and half-finished thoughts, I stumbled across a quote from a creator named @bymiilan that stopped me in my tracks. It said, “The best thing you can do for yourself is actively increase your surface area for luck to hit you.” I realized that it felt less like a quote and more like a mirror.

Let me explain. I feel like I’ve lived much of my adult life this way, but never really knew how to put it into words or make it make sense until now. Truthfully, I’ve never been much of a homebody. Even as a child, I always wanted to be going somewhere…and obviously, that wild itch has only increased as I’ve gotten older. I wanted to have experiences that I could look back on when I’m 90 and think, “God, I was actually cool as hell.” I wanted to be able to say, “I did that.” I wanted to see the world but also be seen in the world.

Much of the driving force behind this refusal to stay still was the unknown. I was always intrigued by the what if. What if I go out tonight and stumble upon the best truffle pizza in the city? What if I meet someone and she instantly becomes my new best friend? What if one drink turns into dancing until 4:00am with a man who made me feel safe enough to let him walk me home?

Here’s the thing: all those scenarios that I just mentioned actually DID happen to me. And they happened simply because I was willing to put myself out there.

What Does It Mean to “Increase Your Surface Area?”

“Increasing your surface area” can be thought of as putting yourself in the position to get the things that you want. When you make yourself visible in a variety of different settings, you increase the chances that you will meet someone who becomes a strong supporting character in your story, or have a once-in-a lifetime experience.

This means trying new cafes and restaurants, booking more trips, talking to different people, going to more concerts, spending time in parks, going on walks, asking more questions, and saying “yes” to going out when you originally planned on staying home. Some of the best moments of my life have caught me completely off-guard when I wasn’t doing anything except simply living. One moment, I was in Nashville attempting to cross the street, and the next, I had been invited to a rooftop bar and a Halloween party by a guy who happened to be crossing in the opposite direction. I wasn’t expecting that moment at all – I was simply in the right place at the right time.

There’s this idea that you “can’t hit a moving target” – but in this case, I think they have that concept backwards. In life, being a moving target makes you easier to hit when it comes to infinite possibility. When you’re out of your house and in new rooms, new cities, new countries, trying new things, and having different conversations, you give opportunity more angles to find you.

Increasing your surface area can also mean betting on yourself: starting a business or side hustle, getting involved in something, or learning a new skill. The more you do and the more you know, the more opportunities you’ll have throughout life. For instance, I had no idea that I would learn so much when I started a travel blog, but the skills I’ve developed have opened so many doors for me.

Traveling is, of course, my favorite way to increase my surface area. When I travel, one of my favorite things to do is go to a restaurant for dinner and sit at the bar. I find that I rarely do this and don’t get involved in a conversation of some sort. Many times, these conversations have led to new connections, late nights in the city, and discovering more places I didn’t know existed. No matter what, I always leave learning something new – and that alone has helped elevate my life.

I have always believed that what is meant for you will find you, but you can help that along by being brave enough to show up in a variety of different ways. I also think that by putting yourself out there, it gives you more say in how your story unfolds. For instance, I’m convinced I’m going to meet the love of my life “in the wild” and not online. I’ve always been fascinated by the chance encounters of how people meet. Not to say you can’t find good people or the love of your life on the apps, of course…but for me, I’d rather meet someone because we happened to be in the same place at the same time, and we felt confident enough to take a chance on each other. I know when it happens, it will be one of the greatest stories I ever tell. But it all starts with me putting myself in different scenarios and being open to possibility.

I like to tell people that they’ll never find me where they left me. I’m in new cities, having new conversations, taking new risks. I’m always increasing my surface area. That’s not to say I never slow down or stay in, of course. I do. Rest is part of the rhythm…but luck, love and curiosity keep me moving.